Butterfly grew up with food intolerances and was diagnosed with ADHD, Asperger's
Syndrome, and learning difficulties. Now she struggles with OCDs.
This is the story of how we have faced these challenges.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Moving

Hubby was done his courses for the year. He found an internship for the summer, and that got his foot in the door. At the end of the summer they offered him a job. Since he went back to school in the first place to get a job, he took it. It wasn't a lot of hours at first, but it turned into full time before too long, which is what he had bet on. We were able to catch up on a few bills, then decided we needed to move. Where we were living was ok while he was commuting to the college, but his job was off in another direction and we wanted to get closer. Also, my mom wasn't getting any younger and she hadn't been feeling well. It was a distance to go if she needed us to help out with anything, so we decided we needed to be closer.

We weren't sure what we were going to do ~ we had talked with Mom about selling her place and getting a place for all of us. But none of us were sure how that would work out. So we moved to Mom's and put a used tent trailer in the back yard for us to sleep in. I did the cooking and most of the chores, so Mom was able to take it easy and get better.

I was a little worried about Bud because it seemed to me a kid like her needed stability in her life. But Hubby thought as long as she was with us, she was home. Anyway, Bud was no stranger to her Nanna's place. As it turned out, Bud was fine, except when she was in reaction of course. And then there was the fact that I spent most evenings trying to get her to go to sleep. She was getting too big to rock, but her sleep problems persisted. I would read to her, lie down with her and sing her favourite songs. Sleeping has always been difficult for Butterfly. This didn't do anything for my evenings either, but I usually got her to sleep before Hubby went to bed.

The rest of us had a few challenges too. It was a little awkward at Mom's because Hubby wanted to be the man of house and he really wasn't there. It was her place, and she had her routines. And then I sometimes felt as if I had to choose between my mother and my husband... the mother-in-law thing. Pick sides? Oh no.. I didn't want to be going there. Thing is, Mom and I were close and got along great, and I didn't want to lose that. Nor did I want to lose my man.

And Bud? Well, there were a few times when I was turning in tight circles in the kitchen because she was calling me from one direction and Mom from the other. Then there was the time Mom, Bud and I went swimming in the local lake. There I was watching over my little kid, and suddenly Mom was in trouble. She wasn't a strong swimmer and had gone a bit too deep. I couldn't leave Bud alone in the water, so I spoke to Mom, "stay calm... you're ok. Just kick and paddle slowly and make your way toward me." Fortunately, she didn't panic and she was fine. But I never took the two of them swimming again. We did go to another beach once, but Mom was content to sit on the beach under an umbrella and watch Bud and me in the water.

But I digress. All and all, it was looking like it was best for us to find some place just for ourselves close to Mom's. Then Hubby could be king of his castle, Mom could keep her independence a while longer, and I could focus on raising and educating Bud. We wound up staying at Mom's a little longer than planned to save for that down payment and find a suitable place nearby. We were at her place just under a year when we found a little cottage only 7 kms away around the lake. It was small, but not as cramped as all of us were at Mom's. We've been here since... sort of.

And did I say educating Bud? Yes I did. I began homeschooling Butterfly while we were still at Mom's. I had been reading up on it and thought it was a good fit for her. As I had learned with daycare, sending her to public school was probably only going to result in her being in reaction most of the time, and I well knew what that would do to her ability to learn and to her immune system, not to mention our sanity. It wouldn't help anyone if she was either in reaction or ill most of the time. Moreover, I just didn't believe for one minute that this child would be able to sit still at a desk for the length of time required in a classroom. So I decided to try this homeschooling thing. I made no long term plans, but I found the work books at the department store. We left the blocks and baby story books behind and moved onto more challenging aspects of colours, shapes, numbers and letters. It was going fairly well, so I just kept going.

2 comments:

  1. Sleep and lack thereof seems to be a very common theme amongst kids with "issues." And man, what a tough one too- if mama don't sleep, mama gets grumpy and then it all comes tumbling down....

    This is wholly unrelated, but is Butterfly ever CUTE!!!

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  2. Or Mama just gets exhausted and says a lot of things like, "huh?" ;op

    Thanks! Hubby and I used to look at each other sometimes and say, "now how did we do that?" ;o) Just sometimes hard to appreciate tho.

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